Six months ago, I was sat on a sun lounger in the morning sun during the strangely out of character June heatwave. On my lap was my MacBook, and on the screen of my MacBook was a Squarespace settings page. At 8.59am, it was time to turn off the lock screen that had been blocking the world out, and to let my project — the one I’d been working on for over six months prior — go live. Of course, I’m talking about The Unedit.
I was terrified. It was ready. It had been ready for weeks, maybe even months, but the perfectionist within me just wouldn't, couldn't part with it. My level of anxiety, the voice that told me that this was a complete waste of time and a total bust, was almost crippling. Whilst my heart told me that my lung failure and subsequent resignation from the industry was a sign, my head told me that it was a massive failure in my career, and that I’d lost everything I’d worked so hard for. I masked my sheer panic as excitement and motivation, and as the first content went live, I sat rereading my work over and over, critiquing every last word, telling myself that maybe I should just go and get a ‘real’ job.
It didn’t take long before I realised that, regardless of what my anxiety told me, it was a real job. It was a job that got me up Monday to Friday (and more often than not Saturday and Sunday too), working 12-hour shifts (or longer), just like any other working person. On top of that, I was producing something that I was actually proud of, despite it costing me my savings from my previous, well-paid jobs. The thing that I noticed most, though, was the fact that I — for the first time ever — really loved what I did. I enjoyed my previous jobs, but as a writer working in a job that gave her very few opportunities to actually write, the difference in job satisfaction and the feeling I felt (and still do) when I sat down at my desk every morning was overwhelming. The anxiety, panic and overwhelming feelings of fear and failure were gone, even if I wasn’t making bank. Like they say, if you do what you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Fast forward to the present day, The Unedit has already undergone it’s first redesign (because this girl’s self-taught coding mildly improved), and has built an incredible team of contributors. We’ve been viewed nearly 100,000 times across 154 different countries which is truly astounding — I couldn't even name 154 countries!
I’m so grateful to each and every person who has come to this site in the past six months, whether it be by choice or by (hopefully) happy accident. So I guess this is just a thank you, from me, to all the readers, to the wonderful contributors and to those who have supported The Unedit in 2017, even before I took down that lock screen.
And on that note, I’ll leave you with this —
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a fantastic New Year to you all.
Here’s to 2018,