kicking beauty standards to the kerb since 2016

Do Tell, Michelle: Be Your Own Pen Pal

Do Tell, Michelle: Be Your Own Pen Pal

For those of you who don't know, I have a diary that I keep by my bed. It's a book that says 'Be Filled With Joy' on the front. It's my manifesting diary and it's the place where I do all my goal-setting and I write my gratitude lists and mini miracles.

Let me explain.

In 2014, I trained as a life coach. When you train, you have to be the client as well as the coach, so you end up accidentally doing some self-development. A year on - whilst I was using these tools every day with clients - I was doing very little personal development of my own. Then the summer of 2015 came and I got diagnosed with glandular fever; I hit a low in my life and felt extremely lost. Humans have a funny knack of leaving it too late to get help, and that's what I had done.

Ever since then, I vowed never to do it again. Keeping this promise to myself, not only do I have bi-monthly appointments with a therapist, but I write gratitude lists and a list of 'mini-miracles' that happen during my day. I try to do it every evening, but I won't lie - I still do it more when I'm going through a down phase than when I'm happy and loving life.

In May, I started doing something new. I had just accomplished a really scary goal, so I decided to write a letter to myself. I did this again in July when I had accomplished another big goal. Then on Saturday, I did it again after my talk at the Feminine Superpowers event.

The main theme of my letter on Saturday was to stop being so hard on myself because I always think I've done worse than I actually have. And that's when I remembered the previous two letters; I hadn't read them back since I wrote them so I flicked back to May. The first sentence: 'You're too hard on yourself'. I flipped forward to July. 'You need to believe in yourself more'. There was definitely a pattern.

And then, reading my newest letter to myself, both sentences made appearances yet again. It seems like I haven't quite learnt my lesson yet, but that's ok. It takes a while to unlearn patterns and mindsets we've had our whole life. But I'm thankful for these letters, otherwise I would never have realised how often I'm repeating this and, consequently, how much I need to change this.

It's my new focus at the moment so this week, I want to encourage you to write yourself a letter. And another. And another. Then read them all through and reflect. It's a brilliant exercise that reveals a lot - or at least it did for me!

 

Humpday: Sexuality, School, And Being Sixteen

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Billie Jean King And Emma Stone Talk Battle Of The Sexes And Women's Rights During A Private Panel

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