What The Sarah Everard Tragedy Tells Us About Society's Attitudes Towards Women
The kidnapping and murder of 33 year-old Sarah Everard left a horrible feeling in the gut of every woman who heard about it. It did that because her fate is undeniably one of every woman’s biggest fears. What it also did was light a fire under every woman who felt that same feeling. They want safety, and they want it now.
But, unfortunately it also perfectly illustrated the skewed attitudes that society hold around women and the “rules” that should assure their safety.
From a very young age, girls are advised in a number of ways to keep safe and stay away from “bad men.” We’re told to avoid being vulnerable, avoid being a target. Don’t walk alone in the dark, but if you have to, walk along a busy road. Call someone, so make sure you have enough battery, but if you do call someone, try not to make it too obvious that you’re on the phone. Don’t wear something that gets you noticed, but wear something that’s memorable if anything happens and you need to be found on CCTV. Wear sensible shoes, in case you need to run. Eyes down, keys in hand, preferably with a rape alarm attached. The list goes on.
But these rules don’t matter. If they did, and really made a difference, Sarah Everard would’ve been able to walk home from a friend’s house, and make it home alive. It’s these same rules that we’ve applied to our lives from as early as we can remember that are all wrong. Why are girls and women the ones being lectured, our existence regulated, when it should be men being lectured to allow us to exist in peace? To allow us to be able to walk home without being harassed, assaulted, abducted, or killed. We should not be the ones learning rules. What’s left to protect us if the steps we take in the name of protection fail to do so?
But as I said before, and I’ll say again, rules don’t matter. Ticking items off of a list in exchange for safety should not be a thing; safety is a basic human right that should not need to be earned. Regardless of what someone is doing – whether it’s walking home or something else – is irrelevant. Much like the rules, the circumstances do not matter; neither of these things can justify gender-based violence. Nothing can justify gender-based violence.
Just prior to Sarah Everard’s disappearance, a new UN study showed that 97% of women have been sexually harassed. Meanwhile, 97% of men can’t say that they have or know of a man who has sexually harassed a woman. The numbers simply don’t add up. Getting home safely – or even existing safely – is a seen as a privilege that too many women have not been able to earn from society, no matter how hard they’ve tried. And the threat becomes increasingly dangerous for trans women, who experience hate crimes on top of gender-based violence, in particular, trans women of colour.
Women should not have to meet criteria for their safety, when men do not have to do the same for theirs. So I don’t think it’s time that women pay closer attention to the rules, more so that it’s time that society pays closer attention to women and their safety.
Image credit: Hannah McKay / REUTERS
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