He’s exactly my type. 6’3” and looks like a fucking grizzly bear. This is not an infatuation, this is purely primal. Even E.L. James couldn’t count how many shades of grey I’m thinking about.
Are you lost? Because I think heaven is missing one of its angels. No, that’s too cheesy. You’ve got the best arse I’ve ever seen? Hmmm, getting there but still not right. Take me lover, right here, right now. Perfect, now let’s go tell him… Oh wait, he’s gone. In reality, you could see a ring on his left hand and we’ve never so much as made eye contact. He’s just the stranger I admire from afar on the train every day.
I couldn’t ever tell a guy that I am attracted to that I actually find him attractive, that to me would be counter-productive. Surely the best thing to do is sit there and fantasise about aforementioned hot stranger?
Although, when I think about it, what is actually stopping me approaching this hot guy (apart from the ring)? Okay, perhaps not this guy, but a guy that I find attractive in public. Scientists would be scarred after examining my dirty brain, yet I can’t so much as utter a ‘hello’ to someone who I could potentially bang, or better yet date.
Whilst fantasy is a great pastime, I’ve come to the realisation that is is actually my comfort blanket. Just think of the perks of this blanket; no strings attached; no real effort to shave my legs or put on make up. Generally, it’s just good for the soul to imagine releasing that energy. But what about ACTUALLY releasing that energy? Then it hit me: my blanket was figuratively covering the fear I had of being rejected, and part of that rejection was the lack of self-confidence for my body shape and size.
However, as my body confidence grew, so did my ability to notice things I hadn’t before. Suddenly I caught guys looking at me the way I looked at my grizzly bear hunk. I found myself thinking, shit, do they find me attractive?, and although none of them pursued me with words, I hoped that I gave them that same feeling that I get when fantasising.
The fear of rejection seeps into how we see ourselves, like a blindfold over our eyes. If you have the confidence to remove the blindfold, perhaps one day, we may even be able to SPEAK to the person we find attractive. There’s seven billion people on this planet, what have we got to lose? A few no’s until we get that big YES?! If anything, the worst that’ll happen is you give someone a confidence boost, even if nothing comes from it. And in turn, you’ll feel good putting that out into the world, even if feeling, albeit, slightly mortified.
Finding and embracing body positivity can allow you to do things that you’d never think you could, and you can reap the benefits as a result of biting the bullet (not the vibrator). Maybe you could go and sit next to the person you find attractive, or buy them a drink in the pub, or even - if you are rendered speechless in the presence of their hotness - try a smile. You’ll be surprised how many people smile back when you show them your pearly whites.
Whilst the (married) hot guy on the train will never happen, maybe there will come a time where someone else will catch my eye and I’ll find the guts to say something. I sure as hell love my body, so he should have the privilege to love my body too (even if it’s just for a night). After all, what have I really got to lose? Until then, I’ll stick to my grizzly bear eye candy, and always treasure the memories he doesn’t even know exist.
Your stories - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the awkward, have continued to make our day, so as promised we’ll share some more: